There is nothing quite like watching someone else in pain to
make you forget about your own. I am currently in Montana because my sweet
Grandpa is in the hospital. As I sat at home knowing he was in the hospital I
felt helpless. Without really the time or money I decided I needed to go see
him, as well as, my Mother and Grandma who had taken the entire burden so far.
There will soon be relief from other grandkids and my Aunt (Grandpa and Grandma
only had two daughter, my Mom and her). There is quite a network of family and
friends that thinks the world of him. The impact he has made on this world is
great. I have always loved my Grandpa deeply, without bias or condition. Our
relationship has always been easy and uncomplicated. He has always believed in
me and supported me through my ups and downs.
He has had several
falls in the past week that caused both rib and vertebrae fractures, and after
going to the ER twice last week, his foot had run in with their in home
elevator. Unfortunately the elevator won and he shattered his big toe and broke
a couple small ones.
Grandpa is a man that doesn’t like to be idle but age has
dealt her cards causing him to slow down to a level that he is unacceptable to
him. He has a care taker, of his family, of his friends, even strangers that
need help. He was a volunteer firefighter for 14 years and the chief for six,
helping them to build the fire station and the trucks. He has selflessly
volunteered his mechanical abilities to neighbors and strangers alike; never
turning away a widow that needed a helping hand, at the expense of his own time
and money. He has worked hard his whole life; always saving his pennies to be
able to support his grateful family. He built his shop and his house from
scratch. He paid for everything it as he went; never owing the man. Grandpa has a very mechanical, practical mind. He never
saw a car he couldn’t fix. If he needed something, he made it, including a
snowmobile, a V8 welder, a tree sprayer, a riding lawn mower, a fan, and so
much more. He loved old engines and spent a lot of time refurbishing them and
going to tractor shows. He played the fiddle like a pro; often hosting jam
sessions. I remember several trips to fiddle competitions. When a young child
had an amazing talent for the fiddle his heart would melt. He built a hay
manger in his backyard for the deer and elk to feed. He and Grandma had bird
feeders everywhere. They also have had a resident squirrel family that live
just outside their dining room window. They pretend that the bird seed is just
for the birds and he has created many a contraption to keep the squirrels from
getting on the feeder and eating the seed, but the truth is they love the
squirrels (despite the fact that the squirrels throw pinecones at your head and
laugh at you) and they think it is hilarious when the squirrels crawl across
the window screen and leap to the bird feeder.
They have always loved nature. Watching animals on their property has
been one of every one’s favorite past times. Bears, wild turkeys, deer, elk
chipmunks, squirrels. The list goes on forever. It always seemed to me that
their home was a little slice of heaven.
If it hasn’t been apparent, I love my Grandpa very much. I
think sometimes that he hung the moon just for me. For now it seems like he will be fine. We are
headed to a skilled Rehab center this afternoon where he will get tailored
therapies to help him heal. Rehab will be a good thing because he will get
stronger and be safer when he does go home.
I guess I have been writing this blog to lay out my
thoughts. To share with the world what a great man he is and how lucky I have
been to have him in my life. When you have late stage cancer you spend a lot of
time contemplating your own mortality. When you are young and dying it feels
like the natural order of things has been upset. But as I sit here watching my
Grandpa and cope with the fact that he too is not immortal I remember that I am
lucky; lucky to have so many wonderful relationships in my life; lucky to have
perspective about my own life
I love you Grandpa.
